Long Since Past
by Serenarey Chiba
Summary: The sixth war has erupted, and with it, a new age. Shirou and Rin have again been selected to participate, though this time, against their will. But wait, Servants do not exist? Archer and Saber have been brought back to life? Shirou/Saber, Rin/Archer
1. Prologue

Well, I may continue this, and I may not. I just had to write this down, as it was driving me crazy. Oh wells. Should I continue?

Disclaimer: Fate/stay night belongs to TYPE-MOON Corporation.

* * *

Prologue

The night was bitterly cold and overwhelmingly dark as I looked down upon the city. Unfortunately, it appeared there was another war ahead of me, although I had participated in the last one. I suppose the Gods didn't care, or rather, the Holy Grail didn't care if one had already taken part in the war. However, needless to say, I was quite shocked to find that there was, indeed, another Holy Grail. Though who had made it, and how…those are questions I cannot answer as of the moment. All I know at the moment, is that the world is again at risk for being destroyed by greedy people who don't know enough to leave well alone. I suppose the dangers that took place five years ago were meaningless to these fools, and so now a new Holy Grail awaits the Master that can grasp it. Unfortunately, I must be the one to do it.

I, Emiya Shirou, as a self-declared superhero, must rectify any and all horrible deeds done against the justice of man. Of course, that's just a flowery way of saying I'm not going to let anyone die, if I can help it. However, although I have appeared in the war before, I don't really remember anything about it. A few months after the war had ended, I was involved in a very serious magical explosion…caused by myself, of course. Trying to project weaponry is one thing…but trying to project fire is apparently not the best move to make. Also trying to do so in a place complete with noxious gases…definitely not the wisest idea. Why I am still alive, I'm not sure. My best friend Tohsaka Rin said it was due to my ridiculously fast, healing body. When I asked her why I was still healing after she told me I shouldn't be, she couldn't answer. She only muttered something about a sheath before ending the discussion, and leaving me very confused.

I wouldn't have been able to get her to answer anyway – at the time, I hadn't even remembered her. The explosion caused me to have a serious case of amnesia, and as it hasn't cleared up after five years, I'm not going to hold my breath about it ever returning. As such, I recall nothing from the last war, nor who was in it. Rin said that she had participated as well with her Servant, Archer. That bit of information just went over my head – who was Archer, and why did I just hate the sound of his very name?

My stepsister, Illyasviel von Einzbern, had competed as well; this information definitely surprised me as she looked like a little brat. She told me later that she was actually _older_ than I was, and so she's off in some astute graduate school in the middle of England. Well, I say "bah" to the little girl who looks like she'll never hit puberty – of course, I would never say that…unless I like running for my life. Just so you know: I don't. Ah, and Ilya – the name we call her by – was the Master of the Servant Berserker. Fits her perfectly, I think…the little demon.

The two women never told me who the other Masters were, though I'm not sure why. I suppose that since they were all dead that they weren't very significant anymore. I really wish I could find out their identities though, just for the sake of maybe getting my memories back. Something tells me though, that I don't really want them back, while at the same time, I do. It's all very confusing, and gives me a headache on a constant basis.

As for my Servant from the last war…well, I don't know who he was, or perhaps it was a she? Either way, I don't remember him or her, and all I know is what Servant he or she was: Saber – supposedly the strongest Servant to have been released, which I suppose makes sense. Saber did win the last war, or so I was told. It's ridiculous how I can't remember even my own Servant! It makes me more and more angry by the second, but there's nothing I can do. I'll deal with it, as I have for the past five years, give or take.

Sighing, I look down over the city Rin and I live in – no longer Fuyuki City, but more towards the north, with some highly distinguished university that deals solely with the actions and concerns of magic. It can't really even be called a city, but more like a village without a definite name. I didn't even want to move here, though it really is very beautiful to behold. I was actually forced to take residence in the quaint area, by none other than the demon woman herself, Rin. I wasn't even given a choice – hell, I didn't even get a chance to do anything. One night after the end of high school, I laid down at my estate and then the next day, I'm here. Needless to say, I was taken aback (to put it lightly) and very annoyed (putting it even lighter).

"You're a magician," she had said, arrogantly tilting her chin up as she glared over at me from the corner of her bright, turquoise-blue eyes. "You can't deny your existence, or your powers, so don't act as if you can live a normal life. Especially after being in the last war."

Rebukes? Complaints? Demands of returning? Those were immediately washed aside by the storm dubbed Rin. I hate her for that.

All in all, though, I have enjoyed my time here, though I haven't made any new friends. I only know strengthening and projection magic, and Rin says my magic circuit is too pathetic to try and learn much else. Did I ever say how _nice_ she is? Yeah, no. However, Rin is very, very accomplished in her magic usage, and I learn a lot from her every day. For some reason, she hits me with a shinai every time I mess up on my magic or knowledge, or at least tries. It never hits – I'm happy about this, and quite proud, too – since I am very adept at swordsmanship (I don't recall why).

In any case, that is my situation as of the moment. It's been the same thing for five years – study, work, deal with Rin, and practice. I don't mind it, and quite like my little ritual, but that happy atmosphere ended a few days ago. That was the day I received my Command Spells, and was the day chaos suddenly began to reign.

The day the Command Spells came, dark clouds swarmed the sky, and Rin and I could easily feel the horrible evil magic brewing around us. The Holy Grail had been resurrected – I thought it was cut to pieces? What happened to that? – and the sixth war was about to begin. At first, Rin and I had thought everyone from the previous war would be involved again, as we both had been granted Command Spells, but after a phone call to Ilya, that thought was quickly erased from our minds. She had actually brought up a decent point:

"The wars should be approximately sixty years apart," Rin had told me anxiously as she looked down at her right hand. "And they should not include that of previous participants, as there's no fun in those that have already been witness to the tragedies that befall a Master. Plus…"

Her eyes had darkened then, and she fell completely silent. I'd crossed my arms over my chest and tilted my head up slowly in thought. One thing had bothered me:

"I thought that the fourth and fifth war had been ten years apart."

She'd been a bit surprised to hear that, but she'd nodded slowly. "Yes, they were…but the Holy Grail had been destroyed both times…"

"So, perhaps the evil has not been purged enough? And because no one's made a wish…"

Rin's eyes had darkened further, anger flowing throughout her. She turned towards me, jaw clenched tightly. "We summon by the light of the full moon, at two. Be prepared."

That night, was tonight, and I had less than thirty minutes to get back home to begin the summoning process. Rin was going to kill me. I backed away from the ledge overlooking the city and began to run down a narrow curve leading into the woods surrounding the area. The grass crunched under my feet, each soft blade gliding gently against my jeans as I raced through it. Since I was in a hurry, I wasn't going to go all the way down the narrow, winding path to the outskirts of the city.

"Trace:…on!" I yelled out, jumping off the ledge and into the air of nothingness.

Right above my hands formed orange lines of polygonal shapes, each shape stretching out until the magic solidified and I was hanging from a glider (a poorly constructed glider, but one nonetheless). My weight shifted forward violently as the glider caught wind and I was pulled up with a small draft. A bead of sweat ran down my right temple and I grunted slightly from the amount of magic I had to keep pouring into the craft. I could handle the amount, sure, but it was still taxing to keep it steady as I could die if I made a mistake.

I glided slowly towards the ground within city limits and fell down five feet from the air. Hitting the ground rolling, I quickly jumped up and dashed off towards a fairly average-looking house towards the center of town. I swept through an alley, splashing through puddles and sliding hard against bricked walls. As soon as I skidded out of the last alley and ran down a residential street, I knew I was both caught and in deep trouble as I felt malicious intent striking towards me.

I slowed down to a walking pace, a grimace sweeping across my face as I noticed Tohsaka Rin standing in front of the house we both lived in together, tapping her foot impatiently. Her darkened blue eyes turned towards me and I swear that time stood still at that moment. When I was within a few feet of her, she shifted towards me and walked up close, peering up angrily. She often liked to say that my height over her made it hard for her to have an impregnable presence. I say she's full of crap.

"Shirou," she began softly, backing up as she realized glaring wouldn't faze me much. "You realize that I was in London when you had your accident, and only came back to help you with whatever I could, right?"

I scratched the back of my head, frowning softly. "You said you would leave as soon as I got better."

"Yeah," she muttered. "I did say that, but I didn't go. I instead decided to enroll here and teach you what I could."

"I'm really grateful, too. Sorry I'm such a bad student."

"No, you're fine. And besides, I promised Sa–…ah, I made a promise to someone. I don't really even regret a thing – teaching you has been a interesting experience."

"Kind of painful, though," I mustered out, laughing a bit. She laughed as well, before her expression became serious again.

"But, you know Shirou, when I first began to teach you, there was one thing I constantly stressed you to always do. Do you remember what it was?"

_One thing?_ I thought to myself, frowning more deeply. There were about five thousand things she told me to always do.

Rin sighed when she realized I couldn't remember. She held up her left hand, clearly showing her gold-plated watch for me to see. The light of the street lamps bounced off of it, making it shimmer slightly before she dropped her hand.

"Timing," she finished. "Timing is of absolute essence. If you happen to miss your chance, you could miss out on everything, and eventually, even your life. If you remember nothing else, then please try to remember at least that."

"Rin, I'm sorry about–"

"It's fine," she stated with another sigh. "I had a feeling you'd forget, so I prepared everything for the both of us anyway. Now, come on unless you want to miss the chance to Summon properly."

"Oh, yeah, sure," I murmured with surprise. She hadn't been too angry, so I suppose she was extremely worried about the sixth war, too. I shouldn't call it the luck of the draw since it's such a serious situation, but I do feel sort of indebted to the war. That's about fifty hours of life I still have not doing random magic spells that usually backfire anyway.

As I walked into the house and down the stairs towards the basement, I pondered over my situation. Since we both had received Command Spells, and no desire to go about fighting each other, we decided to become a team from the very beginning. Together, we would be summoning a Servant in preparation for the war to come, and then we would be putting our heads together for a quick way to end everything. She told me that this process had never really been done before, as most Masters never knew each other before the entire initiation thing. Actually, now that I thought about it, it really was kind of awkward how Rin and I knew each other, and had both received the Command Spells. We received them on the same night, at the exact same time.

Everything was making me extremely wary. With every step down, I kept getting flashes of a darkened cellar, and I kept smelling a horrible, dreadful stench. The envisioned smell was starting to make me real nauseous real quickly, and my breathing quickened. The darker it got, the worse the smell became, and towards the bottom of the stairs, I sank to the ground on my knees, and breathed in and out harshly. Rin knelt beside me, asking what was wrong ever so softly, and rubbing my back gently.

"S-so…dark," I gasped out, wrapping my arms around my stomach tightly. "Th-they're there… I feel…pain… Dark…"

She seemed to understand what I wanted as she had vanished from my side and seconds later, a light immediately flicked on and encased the room in brightness. As soon as the light came on, I felt my queasiness die quickly, and my fear along with it. Actually, I was feeling pretty stupid as I sat there looking at the floor, wondering what had happened. Rin knelt down beside me again, her eyes filled with worry. I shook her off, embarrassed by my sudden fears, though I didn't know where they had come from.

Rin backed away slowly, as if afraid that I might freak out again. I wasn't planning on it.

Shifting my gaze to look across the basement, my eyes laid upon two summoning circles, prepared neatly on the floor. Rin followed my line of sight, and her eyes hardened slightly. She walked over to the farthest circle, and stood in the center of it, while motioning for me to do the same. I walked over to the other circle, staring at the design as images appeared before me:

A darkened shed full of miscellaneous junk.

The feeling of impending doom as I fell back against the ground.

Red glinting eyes glaring down at me as I screamed out.

A sudden flash of light.

The fair locks of golden-blonde tendrils waving in an unfelt breeze, and piercing jade-green orbs…

I gritted my teeth as the images ran through my mind, before quickly expelling them. They were nonsense, and I didn't know where they were coming from. I moved to stand in the center of my summoning circle, and looked over at Rin for guidance. She tilted her head slightly, frowning.

"This is where we do our chant," she explained. "No need for it to be simultaneous, but we can't lose our focus, or we will screw up. Are you ready?"

Nodding once curtly, I turned my head away from her and closed my eyes shut tightly. Holding my right fist out in front of me, I whispered out,

"I proclaim:…"

Hearing her begin her chanting as well, I continued on:

"Thy body shall be under me; my fate shall be thy sword. If the convocation for the Holy Grail acknowledges this resolve and purpose, then grant me a response. I hereby swear: I am to become all matter's virtue, I am to vanquish all matter's evil. O three great words of spirit, ensconced by the seven heavens, overcome the wheel of restraints."

I paused slightly, bringing my right thumb up to my mouth and nipping it quickly with my teeth. Blood welled up through the cut and I quickly flung it downwards towards the glowing circle, now ripening with magic. The drop of blood hit the reddened lines, and the energy flared up around me. Wind began to roar, causing my short bangs of hair to wave wildly in the breeze. Flicking my gaze over at Rin, I saw the same things occurring to her, and I quickly turned back to concentrate more. I threw my fist out once more and swung it to the side, shouting,

"O guardian of equilibrium!"

Light swung around me as soon as those words were spoken, and I was pushed back into a wall by the powerful force of heightened magic. Gritting my teeth, I looked over to see Rin in a similar situation, and grunted slightly as I forced myself to stand. I slid against the wall, one sidestep after another until I was finally right beside Rin. Placing my hands on her shoulders, I moved in front of her, shielding her from whatever debris might come flying in this direction. She looked up at me, so surprised that her eyes seemed to widen imperceptibly.

"Sh-Shirou…"

"Hang on," I muttered, grunting when I felt something hard bang against my back.

Wind continued to roar around us, racing against the walls and boxes of junk lying around. We both cried out when a large gust flew towards us, and I gasped out in pain when it hit me at full force. A sharp clang of something – weapons? – was heard, and then the sound of shoes skidding across the cement. Within seconds, the wind was cut through, and stopped immediately.

Both Rin and I stared in disbelief at two figures glaring at each other through the dirt and debris. I slid back across the ground, quickly forming a short sword in case the two were dangerous enemies, but Rin stood up quickly, her facial expression full of astonishment. I looked up at her before glancing back at the other two figures. The dust soon began to thin and my vision grew sharper as I looked through the lightened basement. Rin took a step back, and I glanced over at her curiously.

"…Archer…?"

_Archer?_ I thought, quickly becoming astonished myself. _Wasn't that the last Servant she'd had? Huh, what were the odds of that? And she knows the Servant just by looking at it? Well, that was kind of cool…_

Impressed, I gazed over at whom Rin was staring so fondly, and felt a pang of annoyance. The second the man's grey eyes locked with mine, I found myself very annoyed. I didn't like him. I didn't know why, or how I knew that, but I couldn't stand the very sight of him. I didn't even want to be in the same room with him. Bastard.

Rin left my side and quickly ran up to hug the white-haired man tightly, and though he seemed rather distant in general, he returned her hug with as much fervor. Well, whoop-dee-do for him then. Bastard.

I turned away from the scene that made me want to gag, and looked at the other Servant who had been summoned. I stared hard at it, frowning when that earlier image of jade-green eyes and golden-blonde hair fluttered through my mind. I looked down the Servant from its dark-brown boots, to the white, blue, and gold one-piece that billowed at the hips, and onwards to the metal breastplate and gauntlets adorning it. Shifting my gaze up, I slowly took in her face, and another flash hit me:

Dark, jade-green eyes glaring at me as the woman yelled.

A flash of a sword as it glowed a brilliant gold.

The quick, steady movement as the young woman wielded the sword in battle.

A bloody hill.

The feeling of complete and utter hopelessness…

I gasped, clutching my shirt with my right hand as I glared at the figure. It was only then that I noticed lines of tears slowly sliding down her cheeks, and I locked eye contact with her, amazed and horrified by her expression of hope and pain. I watched absently as she took a hesitant step forward towards me, before she took another, and another. I did nothing but watch her as she wrapped her arms around me and cried deeply into my shirt. Without hesitance, I wrapped my arms around her. I didn't know why…I didn't even know who she was! _Why am I doing this? I don't know her! Why is she touching me? Why can't I stop? Why…do I want to cry?_

A barrage of emotions foreign to me ran through my body, and I began to take in harsher breaths. No, what was I doing? I didn't know this woman…I shouldn't…

I gently unwound her arms from around me, and pushed her back. Taking a step away from her, I turned my head while gritting my teeth.

"Shirou…?" the woman asked hesitantly, and I could hear the fear and hurt within just that one word. Tightening my fists, I looked up at her, and said the words I would instantly regret after:

"Who…are you?"


	2. Remorse

While I was so surprised to see six people review not so long after the release of the Prologue...I am very happy to have witnessed such a thing. I continued this because the idea kept bugging me over and over, and would not go away. So, I will write as ideas barrage me - but that means this may be abandoned at any time. In any case, many thanks to my first six reviewers: Moonshine79, visser2294, Vaarsuvius, BeatleBomb, DarkJediKnight, and XxMisaki_EndouxX. Many thanks. Here's the second installment.

Disclaimer: Fate/stay night belongs to TYPE-MOON Corporation.

* * *

Chapter One

"_Who…are you?"_

I clasped my hands together so tightly that my muscles began trembling. I was sitting in the living room alongside of Saber, Rin, and Archer, but my eyes were shut to the world. Saber sat next to me, her back ramrod straight, and her eyes a cold, distant, dark, jade-green. Remembering what had taken place only twenty minutes before, I clenched my hands tighter against each other, and my brow furrowed deeply.

"_Who…are you?"_

As soon as I had said those words, I saw Saber's expression drift from absolute and utter shock, to hurt, incomprehension, and then finally betrayal. Eventually, whatever expression she'd carried had fallen into an emotionless mask, and her eyes lost all form of emotion as well, aside from anger and indifference. No words were exchanged between the two of us after that, and it seemed that I had done her a great disservice. However, I knew in my heart – perhaps not my mind – that she was loyal to a fault. Yes, so loyal, she would service even those she viewed as scum to the very end as she had promised.

"I am Servant Saber," she had told me twenty minutes before, her voice like freezing ice. "It appears you do not recall me from the last war, Master. As you have summoned me, please allow me to become your shield and your sword in battle, and help you to grasp the Holy Grail for yourself in victory. This contract between Servant and Master has now been made."

If I had told her right then and there, I'm pretty sure she would have understood, or had attempted to…but I didn't. If I had told her, she would have forgiven me and tried to help, I'm sure…but I didn't. If I had…

All I can do now is understand the situation and react in the best way possible, but for some reason, all I could feel was anger at myself, at Rin for not coming to my defense, at Archer for not chastising me as I know he probably would, and at Saber for only thinking that I would easily forget her like nothing. "I didn't forget intentionally!" I strongly desired to say. I can't remember anything, not even my past! I couldn't even remember the woman who had raised me from when I was a child, or my father who had saved my life. I couldn't remember why my life had been saved, if I'd loved or hated anyone, who I'd wanted to be…

Eighteen years of my life had immediately vanished like nothing, and the only things I remembered were based off events I'd come across within the past five years. I remember Fujimura Taiga, but only because she forced me to, and even then, there were still bits and pieces missing here and there. I didn't really remember Matou Sakura, who was actually Rin's younger sister, at all. She had understood though, and had taken it well while helping me try to remember patiently. I was grateful to her.

Now, though, I could only sit still in that godforsaken living room with three other people and feel absolutely miserable. Why hadn't I explained? Why hadn't I helped reassure her? Why hadn't anyone helped me? Why did I always make the worst mistakes of my life at the most horrible times?

After slamming my hands down on my thighs, I lift my eyes up to stare at the surprised faces of the other three present in the room. As soon as I was about to speak, thunder clashed outside, and a burst of light fell down upon us from the outside. Within seconds, a cascade of rain fell down outside, clamoring against the room. I thought such a change in weather was very fitting for the torrent of emotions whirling around in me. All I knew for certain was that I needed to leave. I know in my mind that there are many things to discuss, and many things we must become aware of, but in my heart…I can't allow myself to stay in the presence of someone I have wronged so horribly. I don't know what I could possibly do to absolve that, so…I do nothing. No words can be said right now to rid her of that feeling of betrayal – I know that. I know that, so, that's why I'm going to go elsewhere for a while. She won't care. No one will.

Standing up, I turn to look at Rin. "I'm heading out for a while."

She looked up at me, wanting to stop me but knowing I needed to stew on what had happened on my own. The only way I would feel better, was to do something on my own, without the help from anyone else. I turn away from Rin, my eyes closing as I firmly walked past Saber. The clank of metal told me she had stood up as well, in preparation for following me. I turned back to her, eyes narrowed as I bit out,

"Where are you going?"

She said nothing as she turned to look at me in return, and anger struck me again, but only at myself. Why was I so stupid to make so many mistakes, especially to someone who obviously felt so much for me that she would abandon composure in order to hug me outright? I was a fool, an idiot, a pathetic man… I didn't want her near me…I didn't want her to have to deal with such an idiot.

"Stay here," I demanded, my voice harsher than I wanted it to be.

She stared over at me for a few moments. "I refuse. My task is such as to protect my Master from all danger. Would you be denying me my existence…Master?"

She made a good point, but I wasn't rational at that moment. I was tired, angry at the world and myself, and disgusted by my own actions. I could tell she didn't appreciate being in my presence either, so I would do us both a favor:

"You will stay here. That is an order."

"I refuse that order," she argued back calmly. Damn her for that calm composure. She continued: "As your protector, I must stay at your side. If you would prefer I stay away, then you must use a Command Spell to enforce your order. Otherwise, I must continue to stay by your side."

I stare at her in disbelief, and grit my teeth in anger. Why was she trying to make this so hard? I was doing her a favor – why couldn't she just accept it? I turn my gaze around to look at Rin, who turned her own eyes away to avoid eye contact. It seemed nothing would go right tonight…so I made another mistake –

"Do I have such a lowly knight as a Servant that she would disobey even the smallest of orders?"

I felt nausea rise up my throat as I saw my words hit her. Her eyes widened slightly, and I saw her gauntlets tremble lightly from her fury at my under-the-belt insult. _That's right_, I thought, looking at her while ready to throw up. _I'm despicable. I'm horrible. I'm not the man you used to know. I'm not worth caring for. I should be killed where I stand._

"As you wish…Master," she choked out through her outrage. Rin stared at me, frowning when she realized what I was doing. She knew, but also knew this was nothing she could intrude on. I turn my head away from Saber, from Rin and Archer, and from the world as I walk away.

My steps sound heavy as I walk to the front door, and I feel my heart tear slowly into pieces. Tears run down my cheeks as I slip into my shoes at the front door, open it, and walk out. The door slams shut with a note of finality, and all that is left for me is the constant downpour of a heavy rain. I am drenched immediately, but I do not fear whatever may happen from it. I don't care about the coldness that was suddenly filtering into my body, and I don't care about the pain that was causing my mind to self-destruct. I only want to get away. I want to get away from my past, and from…her. She, who I have wronged so much in so little time, does not deserve to have to be with me. That isn't fair. It's, not, _fair_.

Eventually, I started to walk away from the house I'd been standing outside of for nearly ten minutes. I walk away, my auburn-red bangs of hair falling into my eyes, drenched from the rain. I walk away, feeling my heart tear more and more with each step. I wanted to get away. I wanted to die.

Without even realizing, I opened my eyes in surprise to see that I had ventured to my favorite spot overlooking the city. My hair was matted down, with drops of water falling down it constantly. Sparks of lightning danced up in the distant skies, with thunder causing the earth to tremble seconds later. The ferocity of the storm sparked my own fury at myself, and without knowing, two short swords were in my hands, sparking with magical energy. Bolts of energy frizzled around my traced weaponry, and I immediately dropped down into a fighting stance.

More lightning flashed in the distance, causing the area around me to shimmer and brighten. On the cue of the thunder, I shifted forward quickly, my right hand flicking the sword up to cut the air. I drew it back down, and slid my left foot forward, falling into a side dash as I quickly slammed my right foot on the ground and jumped high up in the air. The force of motion spun me around and I executed a strong side kick midair. Landing unevenly, I swiped the sword in my right hand back hard, and followed with a backwards swinging stroke from the blade in my left. I dashed forward, before executing a sudden 180 degree turn, my feet still sliding back against the grass with a _shhh_ sound. Magic gathered in the bottom of my feet, and whirled away as I flew forward, my hair flapping against face and feeling like knives as they flicked against my skin.

My left foot flew forward, embedded itself into the dirt, and allowed me to shift into a sudden side dash. I felt my equilibrium shake when my right foot scraped against the ground and sent me flying off course. I hit the ground rolling, the mud attaching itself to my clothing and hair as I did. My traced weapons faded away as I pushed myself up slowly from the ground, and images flashed across my mind:

A word shouted in anger as a golden line of bright light arced away.

A stuffed lion.

The ivory skin and gentle curve of breasts.

Mud-like things grabbing at my skin and burning through.

The uprising of fierce flames flowing back and forth across an entire area.

"_Agh_!" I yelled out, clutching a hand to my throat as I began to throw up.

"No," I muttered, feeling more tears fall down my cheeks.

"No. No. No…_No-o-o-o!"_ I screamed out in desperation, my fear winding tightly within me as I let out my anger and utter hopelessness. "_A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ah_!"

My head fell down on the ground then – I no longer had the strength to keep it up. All my strength had withered away as dread and fear roared around within me. I wanted to cry. I wanted to have the world feel my pain.

"Saber," I whispered. "Saber… Saber… Saber…I'm, so…so sorry…"

I don't know how long I laid there with the rain pouring down on me, and my eyes closed shut tight from the outside world. I don't know how long I slept there on the muddy ground in the rain. All I felt was the coldness and the pain of having betrayed someone who seemed to think so much of me. How could I have…

Minutes passed to become hours, but it was the clank of metal coming near that awoke me. My eyes flashed open, but the cold rain had taken its due. My teeth chattered as I tried to get up from the ground. I felt two strong hands – one under my left arm, and one around my waist – carefully lift me up. My eyes slowly shifted over to see who my savior was, and I was surprised to see Saber's green eyes gaze at me.

Was that…worry?

"S-Saber," I hoarsely called out, my voice as ruined as the rest of me. "B-but…"

She said nothing as she wound my arm around her shoulders, and lifted me up. I felt us turn away from where I had lain and walk slowly towards the winding trail leading back down towards the city. So many thoughts were running through my mind – why had she come? What was she doing there? What was happening to me? – but the strongest feeling was that of my betrayal to her.

No, this wasn't right. She shouldn't be helping me. I had wronged her, and didn't deserve her good grace now. I…I didn't deserve it! No…

"No!" I shouted out, pushing her away.

Saber fell back a few steps, but quickly regained her balance. Her eyes were shadowed as she raised her head defiantly and approached me again. I crawled back away from her, my eyes probably wild with disgust for myself, and horror for her. "Don't come close!" I shouted. "Stay back! I don't want you near me!"

She stopped then, looking at me with a complicated expression. "…Shirou," she murmured softly, her voice panging with hurt and regret, though I had no idea why.

Wait, what happened to "Master"?

"Please allow me to assist you," she continued in a small voice, her eyes downcast. "You have been in the rain for far too long, and–"

"No!" I yelled out, mustering strength I didn't have to try to force her away. _Get away from me_, my mind whispered desperately. _Forget about me! You don't deserve what I've done to you…_

"Go home," I continued, my body trembling. "I've wronged you. I've hurt you. I didn't remember you. I don't deserve to even be in your presence. I shouldn't be–"

"Rin explained everything to me."

Her words cut straight through mine like nothing, and I blinked a few times as I looked up at her. Her head was bowed down, and saw her body tremble slightly as her knees hit the ground. I stared over at her, my eyes wide as I took in her entire disposition – her hair and clothes were drenched from top to bottom, and the way her shoulders slumped down so much made me feel horrible. Without thinking, my hand reached up to touch her, and it was only after I felt her soft, golden tresses under my hand that I realized what I was doing. Her head slowly lifted up, and I saw her jade-green orbs shimmer with unshed tears. Her gauntlet-covered hands reached for my extended one, and clasped it in between her own.

"Please forgive me of my actions, Shirou," she whispered softly. "I knew not of your amnesia, and had merely believed you to have forgotten me…us. I had thought I was the only one who believed what had happened to be something worthwhile, and paid no attention to the personality I should have known to be yours. I never noticed the surprise and confusion you expressed, and only thought of my own anger and pain. If you would only forgive me…"

I stared at her silently, unable to believe what I was hearing. _She_ thought she was in the wrong? _She_ thought that all the blame laid on her? She thought that _she_ should apologize for her actions?

"Forgive you?" I bit out, wrenching my hand away from hers. "_Forgive you_? What do _you_ have to apologize for? _I'm_ the one who forgot _everything_! I'm the one who should apologize to you! I'm the one who should be pleading for forgiveness! Don't ask me to forgive you for something when you've done nothing wrong!"

Two drops of tears tracked their way down her cheeks, and her mouth tightened as she looked down. Great. Now I feel like I kicked a remorseful puppy.

"I should have told you," I muttered, causing her to lift her head back up. "And I shouldn't have insulted you. I know that, whoever you may be, that you are an amazing knight. I don't even need my memories back to know that. Please forgive me for those cruel words from before."

"Shirou…" she whispered, her voice filled with emotion.

"I'm also sorry I didn't tell you about my amnesia. Rin shouldn't have had to tell you. I'll apologize to her later, but, I just wanted you to know that if you don't feel I am suitable to be your Master, I understand. I don't want you to have to be with someone you can neither stand nor respect."

I bowed my head down deeply to her, clenching my fists tightly. I wasn't sure what her decision would be, but I knew that she should have the choice to decide on her own. She may have been a Servant, but she wasn't just a tool to be used – not to me. She was a person, regardless of what anyone might have thought. A person had feelings and emotions, and I was not about to treat a person like a slave. So, with my unwavering decision having been made, I impatiently sat with my head bowed and waited for hers.

Another clang of metal resounded and I felt her arms wrap around my body and pull me close. I know my eyes were side and I gasped. Saber buried her face into my shoulder, her breath hitching slightly.

"I desire no other Master but the one who has summoned me this time and the one before. I do not wish to leave your side, Shirou. Please do not force me to."

I suppose I hadn't known just how much I had been hoping she would stay, and the burden on my shoulders quickly alleviated. She had both forgiven me and asked to stay with me. I felt elated, and my face broke out into a wild grin. Despite the cold, I wrapped my arms tightly against the small woman, and rocked back and forth. Then, I did something that would embarrass me later –

I pushed her back gently, softly shifted her golden tresses out of her face, and gingerly pressed my lips against hers in a joy-filled kiss. I felt her body tense, her having been taken by surprise, before it slowly relaxed and pressed against mine. I felt her passion as she kissed me back, and smiled. I felt so elated – I couldn't remember anything, but I knew that this was right. This was right, it was definitely right.

I know she was surprised when I broke the kiss to start laughing out loud joyfully, but I saw her lips form into a small smile out of amusement. With that, we both sat there for a while, becoming even more and more drenched from the ongoing downpour of rain. Looking back at her, I smiled, and I swear that her shy grin became even larger.

"So," I began, as if starting a conversation in the heavy rain was the most natural thing in the world, "which knight were you? Obviously someone who had a lot of pride."

"Does it seem so?" she questioned, raising an eyebrow slowly. She didn't seem to mind the rain either. "I am not the only one with so much pride."

"Duly noted. So, will you tell me?"

"No reason not to. I will use it as a form of helping you to recall your past. Perhaps you have heard of the legend of King Arthur?"

Surprised, my mouth opened slightly. "Well, yeah, sure. Who hasn't?"

"I am that King Arthur in your legend."

She saw my confusion and slight disbelief. "It is nothing short of true. My name is Arturia Pendragon, the king of Camelot. I wield the sword of Excalibur as your legend stated. I'm not certain of what else I can say."

"Wow," I murmured. "The king? You were Arthur? You have Excalibur? Wow. So, hey, I've got to ask: you know English, right?"

I think that out of all the things she was expecting, it certainly wasn't that. "Yes," she said hesitantly. "It is my native tongue…"

"How do you know Japanese?"

"…I learned when I was with your father, Emiya Kiritsugu, and via the power of the Holy Grail. Why do you ask?"

I laughed at her confusion. She looked gorgeous on a normal basis, but when she seemed so confused and unsure, that just made her really, really adorable.

"You're adorable, Saber…no, Arturia. So powerful, amazing, smart, and beautiful…but right now, you're just so damned adorable."

Redness spread across her cheeks, and she turned away, her cheeks puffing out in indignation. "Have your fun, Shirou," she shot back, her voice strong and unwavering.

"I will, but for now, we should head back."

"Yes," she agreed, standing up and quickly moving to help me get up as well. It was slow going, but we found a way to move efficiently the further we traveled across the ledge overlooking the city. However, just as we were about to go down the winding path, the sound of shifting grass was made behind us.

Saber and I turned back to see someone glaring over at us, his or her red eyes gleaming with hatred. Saber and I stared over at the person, before she suddenly vanished from my side and reappeared in front of me, her hands in the position of grasping a sword I couldn't see. The speed with which she had moved had been phenomenal, and I realized that was something granted to her for having been a heroic spirit, and for having been so extraordinarily skilled in her previous life. I mean, if she was the king and had Excalibur…that meant she must have been pretty skilled. No idiot can be king and have so many successes.

Her grip tightened as the figure walked forward, and a flash of lightning showed up who the person was.

Saber gasped slightly and gritted her teeth as she growled out,

"…You! It's you–"

"_Gilgamesh_!"


End file.
